Any advice on how to copy with an emotionally abusive parent that doesn't recognize her problem?

When you stop allowing yourself to be treated poorly by that parent, she will have to change her behavior around you. One book that I highly suggest getting is Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward. She gives practical advice on how to communicate with someone who is emotionally abusive and how to maintain your own personal boundaries (which can be hard with a parent). While your emotionally abusive parent may never seek professional counseling, there are ways to maintain your sanity in dealing with her.





Any advice on how to copy with an emotionally abusive parent that doesn't recognize her problem?
I know exactly where you are coming from.


My mother was the same way. And when I would confront her, she would turn things around saying she was a bad mother, just to manipulate me into apologizing to her so she could continue being abusive.


And when she died of cancer, I was relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with her ever again.


I know that sounds harsh. But our relationship was based on her being abusive and me just having to swallow it.





They may be dealing with a mental illness and not even know it, or are in denial about it.


You can't talk to them because it will always come back as being your fault, and then you walk away feeling even more defeated.





And if the parent doesn't want to admit they are abusive, and try to work on the relationship with you, then there's really nothing that you can do but just distance yourself if possible.





And if the abusive parent lives with you, then check them into a nursing facility.


Mental abuse not only tears you down mentally, physically, and emotionally, it can also disrupt your personal life at work and at home.


Any advice on how to copy with an emotionally abusive parent that doesn't recognize her problem?
Its hard to not react, but you have to try to not let it bother you. I have found that it helps to have a ';magic word'; I say to myself when things get rocky, what it means is, this is just a show, an unfortunate display that the other person can't help putting on, but its just a show so laugh it off, don't react to it. Aside from that, I'd say...be as totally nice, kind, outgoing as you can. Take the parent out for lunch, to a movie, or for a drive, go shopping together, hold hands if thats appropriate, show them you love them. ';Love conquers all.';
Dicuss it with them. If that doesn't work, either learn to live with being emotionally abused for the rest of your life, or walk out of their lives, period.





I know family is family, but I don't care who you are. If you're learn to treat me with love and respect, I'm out of your life, seriously.





Good luck.





P.S. If you're under 18 just ignore them as much as possible. See a school counselor to work through your feelings and gather advice on how to handle what your parent(s) do to you. Wait until you're 18, then move out on your birthday.
It's really hard when a woman cannot see that she has a problem. She really needs help. In addition, her children should be removed from her until she gets help. I am not saying that her children should be taken away, but they need to be safe until she gets help.
They need professional help. Unfortunately, since she doesn't realize she has a problem, she won't seek help.
Deal with them as little as possible. Go see a psychologist to get more professional advice.